5 Ways to know if you’ve been picnicking too much

Summer is the time for picnics, and we’ve been to a bunch. Most of the time they have fairly standard fare. It’s times like these when I fantasize about having a “picnic flip-out.” Maybe the thought rushes through my head that I should scream, “God give me the strength not to choke these people, because if I see another hotdog at another freakin’ picnic, I swear, I will fling it against the vinyl siding and walk home.”

When is enough, enough?

5 Ways to know:

1. Hot dogs and hamburgers start to seem almost like itchy socks that you forget are itchy when it’s too late.

2. So tired of the customary seedless, you long for the old thrill of finding a giant black watermelon seed–even if it looks like a carpenter ant the first time you see it.

3. Seeing a paper plate has started to make you angry.

4. “Kabob” seems like a neurotic word than an exotic word.

5. You’d rather use potato salad as grout.

Can you think of one?


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