What a FIND! Introducing painter Stephen Shelby Sawyer. (
Steve, doesn’t just do art FOR God, but ON God.
He probably means well, but
when I first saw this image called “No Appointment Necessary” I threw up a little in my mouth.
Shortly after pondering that, I laughed my butt off at the lunacy of it all. It’s probably that smoldering look in sexy Jesus’ eye that tickles me. This hunky American Jesus is totally peacockin’! If you’ve got it, flaunt it, right JC?
If you’re wondering where the Holy Spirit is, I proposed that he’s in Jesus’ hair.

BTW. Wicked hot triceps, Jesus. I mean, Steve. Yes, we noticed!
(Hey friends, if you think THIS Jesus is hot, wait until you see him in, the Sabbath, painting. He’s reclined and “resting”. Right. He looks like he’s waiting for, oh, well never mind.)
Steve has also painted Jesus as a super buff boxer at least four times. Round 15 is the sexiest I’ve seen of that series. (And his hair is crazy gorgeous, like Jesus uses Wen shampoo.)

One of the more awkward ones, is Fireman’s Prayer, Jesus is tucked in close behind a firefighter, and helping him, by holding his hose. And No, I did not make that up.
I thought I didn’t like Thomas Kinkade. But, Steve, you kick his buttocks.
If you don’t like this art, does it mean you don’t like Jesus?
Did anyone ever tell Steve that Jesus was not attractive?
Isaiah 53:2 (prophecy fulfilled)
He grew up like a small plant before the Lord,

like a root growing in a dry land.
He had no special beauty or form to make us notice him;
there was nothing in his appearance to make us desire him.

What if you got a tattoo of this picture of Jesus with a tattoo?
I will give you $100 if you do it.
It’ll be totally BEAST, dude.
Or, maybe the universe would explode. Not sure.
Give it a try: Give this image a caption.

3 responses to “Jesus, WORST TATTOO EVER!

  1. Actually Jesus’ tattoo would say WWID. “What Would I Do”

  2. undergroundchurch

    There is a reason God introduced the 2nd commandment. It’s not that God doesn’t like art, it is an expression that comes out in a multitude of ways (e.g. music, painting, sculpture, writing, etc.) But they create in us a false understanding of reality.
    When you pray, often you might find yourself trying to “visualize” God or Jesus or something heavenly. What are those images? Often they are the artistically drawn caricatures of paintings or other images we’ve seen. These become somewhat of a “mediate” between us and God. We do this with other images also, e.g. crosses, fish (ixoye) crucifix and other symbols that we think we need to help us focus on or communicate with God.
    The Veggietales creators said once that they would never create a “veggie” characterization of Jesus or the Father because that would be a degradation of who God is. No paint brush could ever capture an infinite God.
    While I can appreciate the “humor”, even I, with my poorly timed humor, fear for those that do not walk in the fear of God at least to the point where you don’t joke about the one that can blot you out of existence with the blink of an eye… assuming he has eyes that need to blink.

    • I wonder if God feels sort of the way we do when our little child creates a ridiculous image of us, when they are trying to do their best. You know, a giant egg head on sticks kind of drawing. We could get offended that they made a terrible representation of us. Or, we could (and I HAVE) laugh a bit to ourselves, and appreciate the feeble attempt, simply because we love who they are, and don’t mind that they try.

      I believe the graven image was a command for Israel that was in essence in direct opposition to the pagan culture around them; and the stone, or metal, or wooden gods those people relied in. God could never be contained or symbolized in a human-made creation, but isn’t to try quite rude indeed? I wonder if this decree was also about being completely counter-cultural, and set apart for the Living God alone.