5 Suspicious Holiday Songs


I do like the Christmas season songs.

Yet, on closer inspection, I’ve noticed that some winter favorites are a bit…how should I say it…disconcerting…

(click the song title to read the words)

Here’s a list of 5:

1. Baby It’s Cold Outside is not even a Roofie away from an ensuing crime scene.

2. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer tells a tale of a heard of reindeer bullies, who come to conditionally love a special needs reindeer, but only after he proves useful to them.

3. Santa looks either like intrusive government, or an ungracious deity in an upcoming advent in Santa Clause is Coming to Town.

4. What do sleepy newborn babies enjoy more than anything? Drum solos!
The song Little Drummer Boy couldn’t have been written by a mother, or caretaker of infants. This racket is a song racket.

5. The seemingly sweet  I’ll be Home for Christmas song ends sadly enough to be used effectively for a Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) commercial. [Consult your doctor if you have increased thoughts of suicide.]

What are a few of your favorite Christmas time songs and why?

I enjoy Silent Night, a lot for its spiritual poignancy. But, even if there was a mood of inner peace, I doubt it was that quiet in crowded Bethlehem, or in a stable of animals and an infant.

Are there any songs, you’d like to never endure again?

Or maybe you can make one up!
“Do you hear smell what I hear smell?”

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One response to “5 Suspicious Holiday Songs

  1. My favorite: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.
    The reason: I lost my baby boy boys the day after Christmas 2001. Every year, I struggle to enjoy this season because I get caught up in the horrible memories of that one year. One year, I was cleaning my house and wallowing in misery, and that song popped into my head…I’m sure God put it there. The best part, the part that reminds me why we celebrate this season, is this: “Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas day!” It’s kind of a way of remembering to “suck it up” and celebrate because we have a REASON to!

    My lease favorite: The Christmas Shoes
    As Jon Acuff so eloquently describes on his blog, that is the most emotionally manipulating song on the radio this time of the year and I hate it. It has no value, in my opinion.