Category Archives: #fail

Things you see at Christmas: Irony

How about some feedback?! 🙂


 

 

Yet, she's still smiling. Maybe this is an irony I can embrace.

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7 fake TSA -related headlines

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This topic makes for easy jokes. Of course, the disgust of the general public has made some fake headlines appear quite authentic.
(Two have emerged as most popular. First is the one about the Denver TSA worker and the girl’s basketball team; and the other is about “Perry Cummings,” from San Francisco.)

SNOPES reveals the truth about these two most commonly-mistaken-for-true, TSA related headlines here.
Come up with one of your own related-headlines in the comment section, and see if you can last through reading these 7.

Let’s just say, it seems we have crisis on our hands.

1. Phrase heard most often by TSA workers, “Sir, that’s not a gun.”

2. Joe Biden admits thinking TSA stood for “Touch Someone’s Assets”
(Actual definition of acronym here)

3. Vegas Sex Worker sues TSA worker for not paying her standard fee-for-service

4. TSA worker offers boys candy before pat down, because “he’s a new friend”

5. TSA workers agree to mutual fondling with travelers

6. Advocate magazine names TSA work “Best New Job of 2010”

7. Texas Prison Work Release Program trains convicts to work as TSA agents. “Oh, yeah, man. This is my dream job!” says inmate.

8. [this one is for your to write]

Weird Santa Photos Week-Day 1

Welcome to weird Santa week.

Each day, I’ll give you a picture for your amusement.

Do you know any kids who get freaked out by the fat and jolly stranger in the fake beard?

Do you have a weird Santa picture? Add a link to share it with us.

First Entry:

I’m not sure who looks more upset, the kid or the Santa. (If you think of a good caption, leave one here.)

What did they say to each other? Santa looks about to cry too.

 

Caption: “I feel something wet on my leg.”

5 Suspicious Holiday Songs

I do like the Christmas season songs.

Yet, on closer inspection, I’ve noticed that some winter favorites are a bit…how should I say it…disconcerting…

(click the song title to read the words)

Here’s a list of 5:

1. Baby It’s Cold Outside is not even a Roofie away from an ensuing crime scene.

2. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer tells a tale of a heard of reindeer bullies, who come to conditionally love a special needs reindeer, but only after he proves useful to them.

3. Santa looks either like intrusive government, or an ungracious deity in an upcoming advent in Santa Clause is Coming to Town.

4. What do sleepy newborn babies enjoy more than anything? Drum solos!
The song Little Drummer Boy couldn’t have been written by a mother, or caretaker of infants. This racket is a song racket.

5. The seemingly sweet  I’ll be Home for Christmas song ends sadly enough to be used effectively for a Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) commercial. [Consult your doctor if you have increased thoughts of suicide.]

What are a few of your favorite Christmas time songs and why?

I enjoy Silent Night, a lot for its spiritual poignancy. But, even if there was a mood of inner peace, I doubt it was that quiet in crowded Bethlehem, or in a stable of animals and an infant.

Are there any songs, you’d like to never endure again?

Or maybe you can make one up!
“Do you hear smell what I hear smell?”

Wacky Wednesday. No coffee? (This could be you) Caption Please.

Wacky Wednesday is the alternative to Jon Acuff’s Serious Wednesday. It’s meant to be the opposite of Jon’s SCL posts, because some of us need that humor boost, midweek.

I don’t know the story here. There is a distinct possibility that this man, in a deparate attempt to get his monring brew, threw on his sister’s clothes and made a mad dash to Starbucks. Maybe the long line did him in. I don’t see anybody helping him, but I think he needs a caffeine IV drip. Stat!

What’s your take? What happened just before this photo was taken?
Give us a good caption for this scene.

HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY.

What happened? Give this a CAPTION!

 

 

Need one more humor boost? Warning for parents. This one is PG 13, but imagine getting your teen this for Christmas, and forcing them to wear it to school? (What were they thinking?) ahhhhh!

X-<

Whacky Wednesday. Groovy Girls of Faith: OTHER Stuff Christians Like

Hi. Welcome.
If you’re here to get your Wednesday funny fix, because Jon Acuff is serious on Wednesdays, thank you for stopping by. Everybody else, I think you’re pretty great too.

hint. I’m now plugging shame-free for this entire paragraph. If you click the Alluring Button (on the top left) you won’t miss anything funny on Wednesday–when you need it most. No funny from Jon on Wednesdays threw me into early onset seasonal depression this year. You too? I feel your pain. So, these Wednesday posts are really just my way to survive. Enjoy.

EXHIBIT A: The Faith Tones.
Bad girls of 1960s Christian Music. Y or N? You decide.

Singing hairdressers for Jesus?

10 Things I LOVE about this album cover:

1. Big 60s hair. The higher the groovier, baby!

2. Healthy (I guess) round faces, like the Campbell’s Soup Kids.

3. Prophetic sense of bowling shirt fashion (as seen below with Lavern and Shirley). (Also could be hairdressing attire. Your guess?).

Lavern and Shirley, behind the times in fashion, compared with the Faith Tones

4. Subtle use of colorful, patterned or floral fashion, 60s hip blouses (under the matching uniform shirt) that says to the cool kids, “We know how to have fun…the way Jesus wants us to.”

5. Good vintage example of how you could be a Christian singer and still have crooked or subpar teeth. (Seriously. I defy you to spot a Christian album cover with an unattractive or crooked-toothed girl on it now, or for the last 20 years.)

6. Almost daring use of the album title, “Jesus Use Me,” and maybe just a hint of double entendrĂ© to spice it up for the Christian male audience. The 1960s were a time of sexual experimentation. Not so much in the Christian sphere, but a “clever” or edgy title couldn’t hurt sales. (Remember Stryper, “To Hell with the Devil”?) What do you think, was it purposeful, or just piety shinning through?

7. Girls use high tech (for the time) Stereo enhancement for our listening pleasure. Rock it, out, ladies.

8. The middle girl looks like she knows how to party. Whoot.

9. A vintage reminder that Aqua Net (not flower children) is what held the 1960s together.

BEEHIVE IT, BABY!

10. This shows us that 50 years ago, much like today, music ministry tries too hard, but–sometimes–in a lovable sort of way.

Do you dig this photo?
ANYBODY have audio sample of the faith tones? Please, please, hook me up!
I’d like to hear them.
Golly, I sense some boss three-part harmony a-comin’!

Final Mini Retreat [Friday]

Outspan (fruit company) had three of these bui...

Image via Wikipedia

WELL! Not too popular… this 5 day series (encouraged by Ed Cyzewski) didn’t get much (any?) participation of the contribution variety. Did it help anyone?

I. have. no. idea.

(but I hope so)

Would you still like a Mini Retreat today?

If so, try this:

Prepare yourself to take a short rejuvenating break to refreshen your day and your spirit. So, please eliminate potential distractions nearby. (Silence your phone, computer, shut your door, etc.) Now take a few deep breaths…in and out…just like a weird belly button. When you are fairly relaxed move to #1, just below.

1. On paper, or your computer, list the top ten blessings in your life.

2. Write the bullet points version of WHY they are blessings to you.

3. What do you come up with? Any patterns emerge?

4. Now, pray with those, and let your heart be full of thankfulness and gratitude.

5. End your time whistling, singing, playing the spoons, skipping, or something like that. Lighten up today. You need a break.

Bonus point.
Now that you’ve come to the end of this series, share something with the rest of us.

Thank you, everyone.

SNEAK PREVIEW… Saturday’s post is entitled “Can a Person Absolve Your Sin”?