Tag Archives: betterment

Birds of a feather…or opposites attract?

Maybe both are true. Maybe at different times, each one is true. When I see a pack of mean girls at the mall, I think, “birds of a feather…,” or “misery loves company.”


On the flip side, in certain instances we are drawn to others with characteristics absent in ourselves, and, to me, this is a good thing. A sage/spiritual director, a mentor, a spouse, or a friend, may seem more intriguing because they posses traits and qualities we admire, but have not quite yet mastered. From them we learn a lot, when we are willing. And if they are wise, they also learn.

The comfort from being around people like us can be soothing, and smoother sailing, but it will not produce the kind of growth that healthy conflict can. The smoothing of the rough edges happens best during the interaction of dissimilar personalities. When there is mutual respect, very beneficial outcomes, personal growth, spiritual growth, and learning are the consistent result of contrasting personalities.

Reflection question:

Who has been the most beneficial in your life who was not like you, and what was the lesson from them that you appreciated most?

(feel free to leave a comment.)

Our reactions betray us



At first blush we might assume circumstances cause our reactions. I say circumstances betray us more than the situation in which we find ourselves. Our amounts of self-control, maturity, self-awareness, compassion, humility, are revealed on the proving ground of life, in the difficult situations, and oddly enough, in the successful times.

So, when someone is raging, icing over a cold shoulder, or enjoying a lot of self-satisfaction, it really reflects his or her character more than anything else. We can consider how circumstances undermine our best, and enslave us. They can also be opportunity to grow, and know who you are in reality, so you can focus on those very areas for growth and betterment.

Embrace the challenge.
Release yourself from your reactions.

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