Tag Archives: lady gaga

[Did you know] Mark Driscoll is Gay?

macho man: Mark Driscoll (in a flattering blouse)

Mark Driscoll is gay? Don’t kill the messenger…I didn’t come up with this.

You can find a pretty solid case here, compiled from his friend Don Miller, who–years ago–coined him, “the cussing pastor” in his best-selling book Blue Like Jazz. (When I say “case”…I mean Donald seems to describe Driscoll, in embarrassing detail, right along with [other] male leaders with gay scandals. Maybe it’s a connect-the-dots, or connect the nipples kind of thing.)

Another person to recently point out Mark’s hyper (and suspicious) masculinity, is Brett McCracken, within the pages of his new book Hipster Christianity, (pages 103-105.) Get a free copy here.

AND-gosh-don’t get me started on John Eldredge!

Over-compensate much, Mark?

  • “There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. Some emergent types [want] to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made pithy Zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. In Revelation, Jesus is a prize fighter with a tattoo down His leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed. That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up.” –Mark Driscoll [4]
    (There’s a common theme of guy-on-guy fights/violence with Driscoll. You may remember he showed, the hot and sweaty brawl movie “Fight Club” as an official church event. Hum.)

Mark Driscoll's Jesus: Tough and Buff.

Mark, if you’re reading this, you can stop over-doing it to throw us off track. Don and I both realize you’ve painted yourself into a corner, Mark. The gig is up, dude.

(A bit like gay twins?) Driscoll and Gay WWF wrestler "Giant Gonzales"

Nevertheless. IF Driscoll was gay, we would love him anyway. Right, everyone?

(If you support Mark, no matter what, click the share button at the bottom. If you’re not a fan, um. do the same thing. If you think Mark could NOT be gay, click the share button–Twice.)

And, Don, thanks for bringing up the issue. Where would we be without you? Just in IgnorantVille, I guess.

As a reader, what do you think? There’s a punchline in here somewhere. Can you spot it?

Is Mark Driscoll too overtly macho, and (like recent pastors caught in self-created sexual hypocrisy -Eddie Long and Ted Haggard), too anti-gay to be straight?

Am I joking about Driscoll? Sure. I’m a humorist. (See subheading of this blog.) Despite loads of circumstantial evidence, and the writing stylings of Don Miller, Mark’s certain proclivity could remain a mystery, much like Theodicy, or atonement theories. This is all probably just a loooong series of coincidences. If Mark is gay, or tempted with homosexual thoughts or feelings, I’m sure we could trust that he’d just open up and tell us–straight out. Um. I mean, well, you know. Right? Right?

🙂

15 jokes about Lady’s Gaga’s meat dress.

Now, I realize joking about a meat dress is fairly easy. But, essentially she drew first blood, so I think she completely expects the wisecracks, even if they get a little raw.

Lady Gaga as fresh meat at the VMA's

So, I’m going to up the ante. 15  jokes, right off the top of my head, (I’ll update with better ones, should I think them up.) Tell me which you like the best, or submit one of your own.

1. If she fails down, she’ll be nothing but hamburger.

2. Obviously the VMA’s don’t lack protein now, and that’s a relief.

3. Strangely she looked less like meat in her beef dress than she did in her trashy Bad Romance video.

4. Just like Cinderella, it’ll all go bad by midnight.

5. Maybe Gaga made this dress solely to torture dogs.

6. Never tell Gaga to bring an entrée to your BBQ.

7. If I wore something like this, I’d get grilled.

8. You think this dress is bad, wait until she comes out with eyewear.

9. Gaga’s outfit normally sells for $13.98…. a pound.

10. If she wears this to India, she’ll be dressed in someone’s relative–then, you guess it, a public relations nightmare.

11. Why on earth didn’t her steak hat have a garnish? What a Philistine!

12. For Hannibal Lector, that dress would be the appetizer, and she’d be the main course. I’m not sure about dessert, probably ice cream.

13. Thank God she didn’t marinate.

14. Gaga is officially rare.

15. People screamed, “Gaga, well done!” But she didn’t realize they were actually petitioning her.

Bonus:

Gaga can easily feed a party of 6.

Dog walkers, this is a fashion don’t.

Thanks, Gaga! You just decided what 1.2 million ppl will wear for Halloween.