Category Archives: Humor

New Date-FEB 20

Bellegrove lesson post-poned until Feb 20, 10a.m.(due to weather). Stay safe!

This Blog is moving!

Moving a house, LA

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All previous posts and comments have moved too.
This blog will be a
read only site, until it is phased out, in the near future.

Thanks for visiting here. I can’t wait to see you at the New blog.

Things you see at Christmas: Irony

How about some feedback?! 🙂


 

 

Yet, she's still smiling. Maybe this is an irony I can embrace.

Can Mustard Seed-sized Faith move a Mountain…of trash?

Some days you take your faith to the scales. You wonder…is it up to mustard?

Today is one of those days–and it’s epitomized in the not-so-scenic view from my front porch.

Will you pray for me?

What do you need faith for today?

7 fake TSA -related headlines

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This topic makes for easy jokes. Of course, the disgust of the general public has made some fake headlines appear quite authentic.
(Two have emerged as most popular. First is the one about the Denver TSA worker and the girl’s basketball team; and the other is about “Perry Cummings,” from San Francisco.)

SNOPES reveals the truth about these two most commonly-mistaken-for-true, TSA related headlines here.
Come up with one of your own related-headlines in the comment section, and see if you can last through reading these 7.

Let’s just say, it seems we have crisis on our hands.

1. Phrase heard most often by TSA workers, “Sir, that’s not a gun.”

2. Joe Biden admits thinking TSA stood for “Touch Someone’s Assets”
(Actual definition of acronym here)

3. Vegas Sex Worker sues TSA worker for not paying her standard fee-for-service

4. TSA worker offers boys candy before pat down, because “he’s a new friend”

5. TSA workers agree to mutual fondling with travelers

6. Advocate magazine names TSA work “Best New Job of 2010”

7. Texas Prison Work Release Program trains convicts to work as TSA agents. “Oh, yeah, man. This is my dream job!” says inmate.

8. [this one is for your to write]

Tech = Baal (Re: Idol worship)

Personal Handy-phone System mobiles and modems...

Baal worship...new skool

Baal worship...old school

TECH = Baal. True or false?

We’d like to think idol worship isn’t something we practice. We don’t bow down to manmade gods like the foolish people of old we read of in the Bible, right?

Not so fast. (I think we do)

Probably, if we can’t live without something invented in the last 150 years, it qualifies as an idol–Yes. A full-tilt false god.

If we have a trust and loyalty to something we assume is a necessity, I think we should challenge this devotion.

Here’s the ugly truth. You probably worship your computer, your Apple product, your GPS, your phone, or your car. (Our association with technology is the modern equivalent of Old Testament style idolatry.)

A “long ago” 2007 British study of 1,256 people showed that 1/3 of those asked would pass on $2 million to keep their cell phone. 85 percent of those studied said that having a mobile phone was “vital to maintaining their quality of life.” The statistics are likely far higher now, almost 4 years later.

So, it’s simple. Tech = Baal.
Now, will you give up your false god?

At first we rebuff this allegation of idol worship. We’ll think of ways that the things we adore are for safety, common sense practicality, or we’ll come up with a rationalization for why our devotion isn’t really so bad.

The prevailing idea is that if the technology is available, there’s a kind of moral imperative to utilize it. “If it’s possible–it should been done.” Hence, things like octoplets, an artist being fitted with digital camera skull implant, and decades-long life support situations happen. (Can you think of another gross abuse of technology?)

What of ourselves is lost because of these unnatural loyalties?
Probably, a basic part of our humanity.
Sound overblown?
Let’s be serious: We become what we serve. We are enslaved to what we worship. What are the repercussions for serving technology?

Here’s a case in point:

It seems no one (especially under a certain age[?]) can image going without a mobile phone, or internet capabilities for a few hours, let alone a few days. Could you give up technology that’s been created within the last fifty years for a full week? Would it cramp your style, and make you grouchy? (Signs say yes…that’s old school tech…the 8 Ball.)

281 million youth have cell phones. I admit I have withdrawal symptoms without access to the internet for more than a day. I get twitchy. It’s uncomfortable. And no, I don’t like it.

So, I think we have to be honest and address this. What do you think about it? When have you worshiped technology? What do you think you do about it?

Is there a Christian spiritual practice that can help us?

Absolutely. It’s called fasting. Prayer, fasting, and giving to the poor are the pinnacle of Kingdom of God living, according to Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. Without these things, we are not living as a follower of Christ as he laid it out.

A Tech Fast should be part of your spiritual practice, because it will get your attention better than most things will. This will create growth and maturity.

Fasting challenges our loyalties.
(Read that again)
When we desire the thing we fast from, it creates a space to concentrate and reflect. It re-proritizes our habits, calls them into question, and helps us sift through the what we we should hold dear versus what should be leashed and subdued. When the pang to digitally connect, shout out our thoughts to the masses, or get instant information strikes, we can train our hearts as we place prayer and worship in that void that feels like need. The point isn’t to prove our righteousness by going without, but rather to create time and space for heightened refocus and Christian spiritual practice. God has us engage in fasting for our benefit, not his. It’s a training method…a.k.a. a disciplineIt’s a command to fast. (Sorry to break this to you.)

BUT GOOD NEWS: The effect is refreshment, and quite likely a more informed outlook on our lives.

Will you take the JANUARY TECH CHALLENGE with me? Kick the new year off on a new foot. Between now and the end of January, fast 3 times from technology. Start off with a few hours, or half of a day (if you’re ready for THAT-gulp), and try to build up to 2-5 days by the end.

Feedback appreciated on this. Thanks.

God Bless you.
Lisa

DAY 7- Weird Santa Photo Week (Grand Finale)

In the video Father Chrsitmas (click for trailer) Santa gets ticked-off, grumpy, and self-centered…and takes a vacation. Huh? (He’s practically a jerk. Yeah, I don’t get it either.)

It’s odd also because, even though his vacation helps his stress level, he ends by saying, “Have a Bloomin’ Christmas!” From spending some time in England, I know that the word “bloomin” is typically used in anger, like, “You’re a bloomin’ disgrace!”

So, he may as well have said, “Have a bloomin’ Christmas and a freakin’ New Year!” Right. OKAY. So, there you have it!

It’s one more holiday weirdness to wrap our brains around.

For the final day of weird Santa week, I’m busting out the rest of the bad Santa photos in a Grand Finale slideshow. Voila!
Tell us which is YOUR favorite.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions?

CHEERS!

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Day 6-Weird Santa Photo (STRESSED!)

Sometimes Christmas is Stressful. You’ve just had it. The kid in this photo is at the end of his patience. I imagine he endured being dragged by his mum or dad to do a bunch of shopping for Christmas presents for a few hours, and then they had the nerve to subject him to posing with Jolly Saint Nick, for some insult to injury.

Have you reached this stage yet? Is it likely?

Any responses, caption ideas, or Christmas updates to report?

"As if it couldn't get any worse...now this."

 

 

DAY 5. Weird Santa Photos Week. Santa’s Creepy Sidekick, Krampus

Krampus at Perchtenlauf Klagenfurt

Image via Wikipedia

In Germany/Austria, Saint Nick and Krampus go around like a good cop/bad cop team. Krampus, a whip carrying, horned goat demon, with a long red tongue takes the naughty ones, while Santa Claus rewards the good ones. (Notice the whipping switches on his back. THAT’s gonna leave a mark!)

Now we just buy the kids high tech toys as bribes for being well-behaved…?

You Sit on the Throne of Lies. Day 4-Weird Santa Week

The lighting and the faces in this weird Santa photo seems to point to a pre-photo backstory.

My proposal is that just before this was taken, Santa give little Buddy here a rap on the noggin with his gloved knuckle.

Here the kiddo is saying, “Ouch…what the holly, Santa!”

We’d like to read your theory.

Write a caption, or the backstory of this ODD photo!